Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
