i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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