This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
