your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
