TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
