All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
