dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
