Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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