CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
