I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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