Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
