what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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