what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
