You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
