just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
