Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
