so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The adults are the big ones right?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
