so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
