her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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