Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
