he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize