youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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