Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
