her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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