i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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