You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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