Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
