i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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