your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
high people should be assigned attendants
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
