We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
