therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
