im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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