i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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