i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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