maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
