she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
