you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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