Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
3pm strippers are depressing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
