I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
