we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is Oprah even human
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
