If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
