'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
