for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
