She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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