I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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