And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I lost the right to judge tonight
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
