is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
