xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Randomize
