Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
