how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
