My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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