Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
