I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
