I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I party with great urgency now.
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