I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
