I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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